Monday, November 28

garbage: garbage: milk; cool, i'm not

 

I am milk
I am red hot kitchen
And I am cool
Cool as the deep blue ocean

I am lost
So I am cruel
But I'd be love and sweetness
If I had you

I'm waiting
I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting
I'm waiting for you

I am weak
But I am strong
I can use my tears to
Bring you home

I'm waiting
I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting
I'm waiting for you

see you after the fifth, if i'm still around. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 27

gilmore girls: dear emily and richard

EMILY GILMORE: "I don't watch that much television. I don't find forensic work quite as fascinating as the rest of the world."

gilmore girls: take the deviled eggs...

SHERRY TINSDALE: "That's very nice, honey, but very unconvicing."

---

LORELAI GILMORE: "Hi, this is Sherry Tinsdale. Looks like there's a tie-up on the boulevard. They appear to be moving every building in Harvard University so now it's just 1.3 miles from my house. Nice job, guys.

RORY GILMORE: "You're awful."

LORELAI: "Oh, and lots of cars stopped at a blue light on Garvey Avenue. Why a blue light? Well, 'cause blue is the new red."

oh, and green is the new pink.

Friday, November 25

elizabeth on the bathroom floor

laying on the bathroom floor
kitty licks my cheek once more
and i, i could try
but waking up is harder when you wanna die


walter's on the telephone
tell him i am not at home
'cause i, think that i
am going to a place where i am always high


my name's elizabeth
my life is shit and piss

Thursday, November 24

i love new york

If you don't like my attitude
Then you can f-off
Just go to Texas
Isn't that where they golf

New York is not for little pussies who scream
If you can't stand the heat

Then get off my street
get off my street
get off my street
you get off my street
get off my street
you get off my street
get off my street
you get off my street
get off my street
get off my street

oh, timothy, timothy

is it sad to see your cousins growing?

then hit them on their heads and stunt their growth!

gilmore girls: dead uncles and vegetables

EMILY GILMORE: 'You say "midgets" like it's so absurd.'

Wednesday, November 23

you can't win.

if you run a search with the words "hide" and "seek" on my blog, two entries will show up.

one, on september 11th this year, was a complete posting of the lyrics of Imgoen Heap's "Hide & Seek". it was a result of both the song being a complete and accurate representation of how i was feeling at that time, and me being to lazy to come up with a proper entry. sadly this leaves me unable to recall why i was feeling so sad at that point of time. sure as hell can't be because of September 11th itself--i don't give a rat's ass about that.

the other, on june 24th this year, still rings very true. except that there is far less that i can do about things right now.

life.

Tuesday, November 22

gilmore girls: it should've been lorelai

MRS. O'MALLEY: "The topic for today's debate is doctor-assisted suicide."

SOOKIE ST. JAMES: "That's pleasant."

Monday, November 21

björk

i am not watching gilmore girls. my sisters are bathing, lazing or trying to cook, hence.

i am rebuilding my iPhoto Library.

life is exciting.

Sunday, November 20

gilmore housewives

here i am, watching Mary-Alice Young on Gilmore Girls.

surreal.

Thursday, November 17

ok so here we go, if it works i'll let you know, one two three i say stop

save me
save me
save me
wooh

i've gotta stop my mind
working overtime
it's driving me insane
ah wooh ah wooh

it will not let me live
always so negative
it's become my enemy
ah wooh ah wooh

save me, ah ah
save me, ah ah
save me, ah wooh

save me, ah ah
save me, ah ah
save me, ah wooh

why would I think such things
crazy thoughts have quick wings
gaining momentum fast
ah wooh ah wooh

one minute i am fine
the next i've lost my mind
to a fake fantasy
ah wooh ah wooh

and none of these thoughts are real
so why is it that i feel
so cut up and so bad

i need to take control
'cause my mind is on a roll
and it isn't listening to me

save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah wooh
(thinking and thinking)

save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah wooh
(thinking and thinking)

mirror mirror on the wall
who's the dumbest of them all
insecurities keep growing
wasted energies are flowing

anger, pain and sadness beckon
panic sets in in a second
be aware it's just your mind
and you can stop it anytime

save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah wooh
(thinking and thinking)

save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah ah
(thinking and thinking)
save me, ah wooh
(thinking and thinking)

ok so here we go
if it works i'll let you know
one two three i say stop

Wednesday, November 16

Monday, November 14

jinghui, then adrian.

happy birthday, adrian.

and happy was-a-birthday, jinghui.

i was going to get jinghui a copy of The Cardigan's "Long Gone Before Daylight", but i couldn't find one, and i wasn't cheap enough to lend her my copy as her gift.

i was going to bring a bottle of Absolut Vodka to adrian's party, but i didn't know just what kind of party it was, and decided against it. (by the way--adrian, i like you a whole lot, but i don't like your friends at all. maybe it's the toilet humor. maybe it's the level of humor. maybe it's what they take as birthday-party-conversation. maybe it's human behavoir. maybe it's the ukulele.)

i was going to get my life in order.

why do i always feel so wistful? like as if i've lived six decades and that everything is what-could-have-been.

i talked quite a bit during the first half of the long bus ride back home, to karen, and thought quite a bit during the second half of the long bus ride back home, by myself. what happens if nothing happens? what do i do?

i wish for a spectacular, stunning and stupefying accident to happen to me. something that is as obviously severe as how the rest of my life is so subtly severe, no one can see anything if you don't say a word.

i wish for a chance to do some things again. for the chance to not have done some things. for the chance to not have to do or experience some other things.

i wish for the chance to do what i like (Visual Communication), with people i like (the VSC-and-one-IMD-and-one-IAD people), when i like (now. right bloody now).

but, sadly, all i want for christmas is you.

and let's not even talk about my birthday, shall we?

Sunday, November 13

last-minute-gift-girl

what happens when i ask my sister [samantha] for suggestions for adrian's birthday gift?

"i need a gift"

"come on! ask me! i'm last-minute-gift-girl! who's it for?"

"a friend"

"um, naturally! boy or girl?"

"male"

"okay i'm stumped"

Wednesday, November 9

me

i hate me.

i just finished the email to moses. what now?

Tuesday, November 8

deep sleep

so the new alarm clock? it gives up too easily.

at least i got some sleep. first twenty hours back in the country, and i don't feel great, but at least i'm not feeling worse. all that should change once i get off my butt and head for school.

Saturday, November 5

be my friend.

so what happens when you run out of patience?

i got left behind. of course, there's a story explaining how, who and why, but, hello, i'm the king of stories. i can say for sure that that wasn't the truth, but it's entirely possible it was a lie. and i'm going with that right now, because i think adrian hates me. or, at least, has been scared off by me.

thanks, too, jacky. and jinghui.

housekeeping is in the room right now. apparently she's very keen on cleaning all the rooms on the floor she's assigned, 'cause when i headed out to ask her for an extra roll of toilet paper, she asked me if she could tidy up my room [i had the Do Not Disturb sign on the door]. i haven't figured out if it's just incredible work ethic or trying to case the room or my stuff, but i'm here, and my gut says it's the work ethic.

there is nothing to see in shanghai. i want to go ride the maglev train, but it seems kind of silly seeing as it only goes between the city and the airport, and shirlyn won't let me take the train to the airport on monday.

i'll hit the bund tomorrow if things get desperate. then the maglev train. should forget about M. too expensive, reservations needed, eating alone is just No.

Friday, November 4

se7en

what i really, really want to do right now is to head to the top floor of the hostel, sit on the staircase, and just mope until i feel better.

but too many people would notice, wouldn't they.